Randoms, Sad but Trues, & I bet Ya's

Don't want to sleep. Don't want to set and watch TV.. Don't want to do anything really. Hurts 2 set here and type on laptop, but it is kind of helping a bit.... I am trying to trick myself shhshhhh.. Don't be a dream killer ~ Miserable does not even begin to explain what the hell is happening with me and to me right now ~ hhmmmmm. 

Hate when ppl use and take my stuff and never say a ..word. They don't ask .. they just take stuff and deny they did. If I know... and you know.. then why the lying? Really? Only pisses me off more.. actually I was not pissed until you lied to me etc.. then it became a serious and more personal issue. I really hate having to pretend that shit is just always vanishing.. I do not have the time for that crap anymore. 

My shiner finally is completely gone after couple of weeks.. so I look a little less like an abused wife.. lol I am covered in bruises, marks, scares.. bites, scratches, and marks I cant explain.. and cuz my issues and new stuff... I manger to do everyday.. half the time I cant walk etc and I have broken bones and little stuff grows into big stuff.. that it makes stuff harder to get through each day. I know I sound like a broken record, but you would too if you lived in my body.. in my situation.. 

Not wanting to answer phone or text back at 0530.. I want to.. but then it only leads to me explaining what happened.. to what degree I am sick now and all the other negative.. it is just easier to NOT answer anything or anyone to til later.. It's not like anyone cares etc.. OR anyone gives a flipping shit about anything I had to say.. or about anything that happened. I go by what ppl do .. and when no one even asks how stuff is.. or is it better.. they just go on with idiotic small stuff.. they don't care and I know it.. Enough said there !

These randoms can also be called... My sad but trues.. or I bet ya's.. they all fall together really like 95% of the time.

When I finally do die.. no one will mourn me except my dogs.. and that is only because I feed them .. nothing else I am sure. Hell my family.. all big social media ppl.. and they do not even comment, post, and or have anything to do with me on FB really.. yes, that hurts my feelings. They interact with friends etc.. but can't take 2 seconds to post on my page.. communicate with me.. NOTHING !

NEWSFLASH.. buying me stuff never helps. Never I mean NEVER does it make up for shit or substitute for an I am sorry !! I know you think that makes shit ok and problems go away.. BUT NOPE !!!

Nothing like being a married single woman.. SUCKS ASS..

I bet if ya ask anyone in my family what color my eyes are or basic stuff.. no one would get shit right.. well my hubby might get a couple right but that's it.. and I am the one with anxiety and issues …. hhhmmmm Oh, but I am an anal control freak also. Nope I just have a certain way to do things to help me get through each day.. or to help me remember stuff etc.. I do have a method for my madness and the thing is everyone knows but they still do shit different just cuz they can. I hate being mind fucked constantly by the ones that are suppose to be my team or my circle of family or love. No one can possibly know this emptiness unless you too live it.

When ppl say LOL at everything.. bothers the hell outta me.. Shit could be serious and we need to talk and come up with solutions and all I get is an LOL... FUCK THAT.

Doritos and coffee don't mix well.. don't do it ~

Just want ppl to keep their promises and keep their word.. WTF? It is not that hard.. why for Pete's sake why??

Drives me nuts when outta nowhere I start doing stuff in other languages and I forgot I can even do that.. When ya think you are having a bad day.. guess what I know mine is worse.. just wait I will do a list soon and prove it to you.. LOL !