Thursday was ok.. and nice I guess.. Thanksgiving. .. Jade worked.. we did stuff, cooked, and ate when Jade got here around 6pm. Latest ever to eat Thanksgiving meal.. but nothing else was traditional either.. we prepared a Roast instead of Turkey this year, because of health concerns and tainted food.. ggrrr.
so food went over great.. then after dinner.. Jade started getting really sick with high fever even.. well while during dinner really. Got her squared away in bed and cleaned and we crawled in bed with pets and watched tv.. because hubs was gonna get up early to go fishing.. the rain was coming and it was cold.. so just sucked it up and went to bed late by myself after watching classic movies.. what a night it was.. not !!
the last couple days have flown by.. jade been in bed sick for a couple days.. and hubs finally made it fishing this a.m... I was so glad to hear .. a minute ago.. while I have been up sick since crack of o dark thirty suffering with my health, cleaning, taking care of sick dogs etc.. he has just been having such a ball and awesome day on the water.. blah !! by 0930 he had already caught 7 to 8 nice fish.. and having a ball. WELL FUCKING GREAT FOR HIM. That's so nice to know.. I have struggled, cried, and been so busy all morning while he was just enjoying his fucking morning in his Phillip Fantasy world. Isn't he lucky? No. I am not bitter at all.
I've found myself.. well allotted myself... a few minutes to get on here and get some of this shit out.. so I guess I will be alright.. No worries for Rene.. I will get by.. I always do!! I am just so tired of struggling everyday , every moment .. to just get by. 5 cups of coffee in.. half a days shit done.. work of 3 ppl at least and I FIND MYSELF ASKING.. OK, NOW WHAT??? Unsure.. if I am asking about just today or what comes next in the days to come. I am a frikkin mess and not thinking I will come out of this for some time to come.. because nothing changes in my world.. I cant keep fighting them and it to change either.. IDK ~
FML.. I shall embrace the suck again today.. On a Sunday by myself.. Jade will get up eventually and take off I am sure.. she has modeling schedule for this afternoon and hubs with come home later this afternoon at some point and be all about himself and his frikkin fish.. GREAT
