I really need a coffee. Actually I need multiple coffees to get me through this morning I face. I have been MIA with good reason y'all.. Sorry I missed Independence day .. Hope yours rocked and was a safe one indeed...………..
Where to begin?
Being sick is hard enough , but man I haven't been cut a brake anywhere... not even a tiny..itty bitty..one.
The family issues are extreme... the weather has been nuts.. etc etc etc.
Find myself knowing and feeling my end is soon and is very near. I am so excited.. that would be the bestest ever. I am so ready to go, with no regrets.. and no worries. All my t's are crossed and I's dotted and I am squared away. I will just set and wait.. I wait for everything else right?
That is the way shit works...
Health update (needed)
Yesterday the first day in awhile I didn't and couldn't get outta bed all day. Go to bathroom and must do's for dogs etc was the extent. My tonsils, throat, mouth, eyes.. etc all so bad and that not being able to move ..certainly made shit extra hard. Stuff has gotten so bad.. my pain pot CBD and hands full of meds.. aren't even working anymore. Can barely eat.. My weight has been bouncing from 160 to 173 only because my hubby makes me drink soda and eat junk foods to keep on any weight at all.
Ears and eyes bad.. left side been horrible. I know my right side brain is struggling. I have been trying not to show any how serious it is right now.. I think my hubby knows though.. when he has to help me take a shower,, and small everyday things that most take for granted.. he knows !
Worse for me is the eye sight and upper body stuff. Muscles crapping all over and stuff hurts but doesn't make me so frustrated and sad as it used to. If I can get up and try to keep going I can usually make it through the day.. with a lot of hard work and struggles.. but if I cant get past the first step I am screwed mostly. My finger nails are growing back finally.. My infections are running rapid however. Shaking and twitching and speech problems attack hardcore at night because I work so hard all day long to get through them etc.
All my broken toes etc are getting better .. but I as brittle as all get out. I get touched and I hurt and struggle.. That's my whole body though. My organs are fighting HARD.
All my Autoimmune diseases are flaring up at one time.. Skin diseases, Infections (inner & outter body)…. Lupas rare shit is kicking my ass a bit. Walking to mailbox even kicking my ass.
My taste finally came back, but it comes goes.. that's frustrating because then that effects my eating and cooking. Depression and anxiety thru the roof.. I AM A WALKING NIGHTMARE MESS REALLY !!!
I got through April, May, June, and July stuff so far... Holidays etc.. but it took everything I had.. worried if I will make it to Sept.. for my Bday however.. IT'S NOT A MUST !!
Newest pic of me...
~(Courtesy of Snap).. I was a bit blue.. so I decided to play with color filters... I thought purple looked pretty cool for the day ~
