Bla..Blah.Bla..!

Almost a year already.. what the hell? Where has the time gone?... Is it home yet...? Nope, I am still just hanging out in  the background of this house .. this dwelling . that covers my head.. but some times I would rather be living out on the street and have love in my life.  Its a wicked web I know.
Yes, people there is a difference between a house and home, just like a gift & present, and or loving someone and being in love with someone. All things have meaning , its just they mean different things to different people.. and there is the problem.

Today is going to be " one of those days" .. I cant help it. I am stuck in the house , by myself, sick, etc etc etc.. I cant seem to muster doing any chores.. mopping etc etc.. if no one is even in the house.. why should I?? Right?? yep !!
I feel horrible and just want to crawl back in bed.. so I am pretty sure that will be my next move. My body is going into..... shut that shit down mode.. So, I shall listen and just do what I can.
I cant seem to even find anything positive to say at this point... so I will carry on with the yucks instead,, because right now I am just so tired of being taken for granted and used up..

If I didn't say.. turn off  light , it would stay on forever. If I didn't say ..please wash his face.. it would never get washed. If I didn't change the sheets and towels and pull out toilet paper.. ppl would go without forever. It amazes me some times.

If I didn't say .. let the dogs out.. they would use the bathroom in the house constantly.. like wise if I didn't say .. let the dogs in.. they would be left outside to die probably.. ok.. not that bad.. but you get my drift right? If I didn't say.. put it on the list.. it would never get picked up or done.. I have so many examples.. I am unsure which one to even use..

Oh got one:... so the other day my hubby walks in room .. while I am resting.. and says ...do  you have  any butter hiding anywhere?,, what really? Umm we are running low.. I had to say.. well shit put it on list so when u go shopping Monday  you can get some more.. yeah..like I have a tub of butter in my pocket. So later I see.. he still hadn't put it on list.. so I did..if I hadn't though.. he would forget to get it and then I would get blamed..
If I have to ask.. then might as well do myself. If I have to bring it up always.. then why go.. or why do it? Just for once cant someone else be the responsible one? JUST ONCE ??

When the CEO needs a vacation and has to retire.. because she can not run the company anymore... what happens then? Exactly... it will be a bit of disarray  a day or two and then all would go on again.. just as if CEO had never been there.. back to normal .. yep ! So,..my reality is.. I don't even matter in the bigger picture. If I am here.. ok. If not.. ok.. THE SHOW MUST GO ON !!!

Hell I even have to say.. I did my nails today and have on bright blue mascara.. and just wait for a response from the peanut gallery !! .. which may or may not come.. All in a day .. in my house.. THIS IS MY LIFE ! to that I say... FML 😔