Friday update

Stuff still the same for the most part .. but my throat keeps wanting to close up.. eating getting very hard again.. been living off cup a soaps and freezer pops... so much pain everywhere.. and I will be ice cold.. but my insides feel like they are on fire and I am running a temp.. yeah, try to figure that one out. lol !  My eyes, walking, and even thinking are getting worse. My skin diseases have stepped up their game a notch also.. I am having great difficulty just trying to maintain everyday things like taking shower, shaving, brushing my teeth etc.. and if ya think this is easy.. you are way wrong.. takes me like 30 minutes to do like 1 sentence. I am so scared.. I don't want to go through what I already went through.. having to depend on others for everything.. I hate it.. and I get so sad and depressed.. because no one wants that position in my life..i just set and waste away while everyone just carries on about their business around me.
If ya want to understand how I feel.. I will use this metaphor..
it's like being on the Titanic.. while it's going down.. everyone is getting in their life boats and pushing you down.. stomping on you..  even though there is room to get in.. No one will help and they just float away while looking at you.. going down with the ship !! Sad huh? Truth.. ggrrrrr😢