Scattered memos to Nobody: Blow & Pray

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Blow & Pray

Well, here we go backwards again... I say we because.. I am referring to every individual in my house.. Phil and Jade driving me nuts with their beefs. The dogs feeling the tension... so dogs are acting up and etc too.. I was starting to get better and I have gotten so stressed, worried, etc.. that now my health is going 5 steps back too. My lips started peeling again which means all that crap is coming again.. My face , throat etc are swelling and horrible again.. I am getting to the point I cant eat and when I do nothing stays in my system. I am just over it all. I cant win.. I haven't even been able to fully walk now in 3 days !! My eyes started this morning and my hearing loss.. and I have been keeping track of inverse Tremors for a few days now.. and it has doubled.. I have gone from a handful to 15 to 20 or more.. I couldn't keep track last night because I was in a frozen state.. outta my mind with pain and everything going on.. It's hard to do anything when you feel like you have a high power jackhammer going off inside your body ripping it apart SLOWLY !!!! No exaggeration there either ! Loosing sensation and extreme numbness again even in my feet. I almost cant even bare to give a full Health update this morning , because shits just so bad,, nothing good to report at all ~
My end stages have begun now and its all hitting faster and with more intense. FUCK !
Ok.. got that outta my system now. Moving on !!!

Yep, this is me ALWAYS ROLLING THE DICE ~

Wednesday Memos... Need to smile no matter what.. IT could be worse..don't know how at this moment.. but it could be.

Don't sweat the small stuff today.. Try to be well. Try to embrace life and this day.. it may be all I have left ! And do not fall for that crap .. it's all small stuff.. BECAUSE THAT IS FALLACY .

* We are ALL secretly weird & even lost.. yearning just to be seen sometimes !!!

My tricks of keeping my shit together are starting to not work anymore.. I guess I just need to keep counting.

Just happens 2 B..way back Wednesday💛

Adventures still to be had

My list is long.. (but I'm condensing to only 10 things)

Learn to play Chess
Learn to play Piano
Sky Diving
Hot Air Balloon ride over Grand Canyon
Visit Arlington Cemetery.. Tomb of Unknown Soldier etc
See Mt. Rushmore
See Lady Liberty up close & in person
Visit Hawaii.. see Volcano in person
After Sooooo many years of Marriage.. I would love to have an actual Wedding ceremony or re-new vows and do something in grand style
Have a Day.. with no pain, no sickness, no ggrrr… just have one PEACEFUL and HARMONIOUS day

Seeing as how I left so many out.. I might change this from time to time to add other stuff in the mix .Keeping it real people.. just keeping it REAL !

Lighten up Already

A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist. He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"

The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish. So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."

The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."

The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the sky and roads. He goes back in and tells his friend what happend, and his friend replies, "I know. Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"