What the hell was I possibly thinking by going outside when it is freezing out there.. to smoke a cig? Habits are hard to break I guess. LOL
Drinking coffee, trying to catch up with shit, watching a trippy new show "Servant" .. it's crazy.. however must admit watching movies and playing my games these days keeps my mind occupied and going.. IT IS helping me stay afloat. I know it is ! Most the time.. when I haven't been on here .. I have been cheating and using my cell ..MEMO app to write stuff down.. toooooo lazy to pull out laptop I suppose. and I laugh and keep myself occupied with snap chat also.. see.. example 1:
I try to pretend all is ok and that I AM OK ! I have to say though.. snap isn't really working for me these days.. like it was. So I have been dosing with CBD and just staying in my head as much as possible.... which indeed is so much better than the real deal.. sometimes. Except when I have crazy dreams & visions and stuff gets nutty.. then I start to question my choices a bit.
What to do with me???? hhhmmmm. My Christmas dream and wish this year.. is one that I haven't been able to share with ANYONE.. that the miracle of just finally finding peace comes to me and I finally leave this life and my soul can move on and be happy. Yeah, like I said.. a MIRACLE ~
Until that day comes.. . you are stuck with me I guess..
