Thought maybe I should do a health update for anyone that might care out there somewhere..
Another day and my body still struggling hard core with Infections.. Bacterial, Viral, and Fungal.
Swelling bad, Face bad.. Last night lost eye sight again in left eye for almost 30 minutes. I had to time it of course.. no one gave a shit. Mouth burns can barely eat shit. Weighed this a.m. at about 0730 and I am setting at 170.3, up and down last week from eating pumpkin pie and bs to keep weight on and because I was stressed the fuck out. So I have been about 167.3 to 171.6 and I feel like I am on a friggin roller coaster ride constantly !
Still self medicating.. which will be the case until I breakdown completely and they take me to a Hospital for infusions or treatment. Trying to catch myself constantly when I feel shit coming on like.. seizures, fainting spells, TIA's.. But becoming extremely worried.. about the time to come when I cant do that anymore.. and I am almost at that point. No one cares though.. WHY SHOULD I ?
Sad when I cant even get someone to help me feed, water, take care of dogs.. or even spend a few minutes picking up dog poop .. that I have to go out.. almost get pneumonia.. germs, more infections all over again.. I cant get rid of stuff because I have no help and am exhausted.. Watching and helping sick dogs, changing water, cleaning and medicating them.. doing any of the stuff I have to do... JUST WITH DOGS.. all day long.. EVERYDAY. I have one furbaby that pees on stuff sometimes.. because sick.. or he throws up and its just hell what I am going through with this alone right now.. not counting all the other things !!!I am so trapped in hell. Everyone just watches me and listens to me struggling, getting mad, crying.. etc.. then I get upset with them.. and they don't get it.. they just get mad at me.. fights start .. etc,.. when all it would have taken was a few seconds for them to help. But they wont look, help, do, and or even put their fucking phones down long enough to help. I beg for help and they sill get mad.. NOTHING works.
Here it is almost noon and my 25 yr old wont even get up outta bed to help with anything. She's been sick but now after a week could at least help me with doing stuff with and for her dog.. I would think.. but then again.. there I go with.. what I wish or expect to happen.. not what is actually taken place.
Everyone says I live in fantasy land and have the issues.. but really I am the only one.. in the real world and doing shit, and taking care of business in this house.
I take care of myself, dogs, my fucking 25 year old.. and pick up and do for my husband.. when I am the one that should be taken care of right now. I'm not going to be able to stay at this pace much longer. I beg for help ! I cry ! I do it all and still.. NO Help.
Ok, back to health now. Nails are starting to grow back but brittle and yuck. skin infections bad, Bad headaches.. yesterday and day before I used the bathroom on myself 4 times.. 1&2 ,, that's VERY BAD. speech, taste, confusion, comprehension, all bad. Reflexes off, weak, you name it.. I am having issues with it. Cant even describe the pain, muscle cramps, bone pain.. etc etc etc...
I have UTI.. in lots of pain.. dealing with shit from head to toe.. so overall shit pretty bleak still for me right now.
And that's the latest folks ! Aren't you glad you stuck around for all this.???
SO much more to tell but having trouble thinking, finishing thoughts, and working fingers at the moment.. taken me forever just to type this. I AM SO SCREWED
FML
