Why am I awake @ 0540.. on my laptop blogging ???.. Well I will tell ya. I only sleep a few hours a day if even that sometimes. Was planning on just staying in bed watching TV after hubbs left to go fishing earlier, but figured since he is gone, Jade snuck out about 11:45 last night and is gone, and it is just me and the dogs.. I would instead just drink coffee a while and do what I felt should come next. The movies I wanted to watch .. wont be on Fire until later today.. so.. nothing for me to do really. I could be cleaning but why before 0600? Really why at all these days? No one cares, no one helps and its just shit that makes me feel like shit..
Dreams are keeping me up also.. getting worse, more vivid, etc each day. The feeling in my body also tells me.. time is near.
Today would be a great time to depart.. I am here alone again while Phil is fishing, and Jade is god knows where .. with god knows who, .. doing god knows what.. doing her.. as always.. selfish to the core.. that one!
Nothing changes.. so I need to be the one to bring the change. I have done everything else... this is the only option and action left.. IT WOULD BRING THE NECESSARY CHANGE !!!
