Get out of my head.. would ya?

The rain is pouring cats and dogs once more.. but its so humid and warm.. so weird for a New Years day.. First in a VERY LONG time.. since I was young and lived in Florida actually. I am used to Europe snow and Ohio Valley snow and cold, ice,, ya know … ? Winter. Here in Alabama its like  70 and OMG.. I just cant seem to adjust. well I have adjusted but .. its still weird. I guess secretly I am hoping this is a bad dream and I am still going to eventually wake from it . NO dice.. DAMN !
In between breaks I am writing this.. and drinking coffee of course. I have been non stop since 0 dark thirty. But someone has to it. Its my duty in this life I suppose.
In life we are given the path we are on, the option of what we see and hope will be a brighter future, and door #3.. Maybe , I should have taken door number 3. LOL.
January 1,2019 and still trees with leaves and birds and critters just going non-stop.. OMG I miss KY!!!
I keep thinking to myself .. just do it, get it down, and then rest.. I repeat that so many times a day.. that is all I know. Wouldnt it be great to be sleeping in, or out on the peaceful river fishing about now? I guess I am the one with the great life though.
In just a couple of hours I will have done like 4 peoples jobs, and accomplished more in a couple hours than most will be doing all day.
But everyone thinks I have that Kush life.. I set around eating candy while watching movies and am bouncing all over the house with joy.. while my daughter and husband work so hard etc. I set and play games, watch movies, play on internet, etc etc etc etc.. SO NOT MY REALITY ,..
back to the point of my earlier post I suppose.. what people see and what the reality is.. are TWO DIFFERENT REALITIES, ESPECIALLY IN MY WORLD.
I want the easy , happy medium and I guess that is still just asking for toooo much.
People see this great life, wonderful family and pets.. a nice house, car, truck, Harley, Boat, RV.. etc etc etc.. and see my hubby work an easy job, my daughter live a lavish easy go life.. and me this wife that sets at home all day.. doing nothing. DEAD ASS WRONG PEOPLE.. oh so wrong !!!
I am sick, trapped in a house, no car , no life, clean, cook, Take care  of dogs.. do for 2 other adults.. plus.. put up with so much shit on the daily I am unsure how I actually get through each day really.. Just cleaning this huge house.. the fucking nutty ass dogs and all their shit, and do all I do.. not even counting  ... me being so sick and just trying to maintain and keep my shit together. I embrace the suck more than most. This was my option number 2. I choose and  I have to live it. I try not to lose my shit.. but it happens.. especially now since I am so ill.. Everyone thinks I am still the old me and  and it will remain this way until I go I guess... At this rate .. I hope and pray that will be soon.. and then THEY will look back and go OMG,, and have to live with the choices they made .. in their option pick !