Missing it.. something terrible

I tried just chillin and reading this a.m., but my eyes and head hurt so bad.. yeah.. that didn't happen long. I MISS READING... I really do.. I am at the stage I want someone to  read to me or just listen to Podcats or Audible stuff.. SAD. I always have said.. reading is not the new listening.. but it seems I might have been corrected. Yucky. YUCK. Yuck yuck.

When your Friday feels like a Monday.. Yeppers

 A word from TW.. and John Cox Art

Jus Sayin' ... lmao

Y or N .. hhmmmmmm

Thursday is not lookin' 2 bright

 Oh, the shit Health update.. where to begin?... Blood and more blood in my mouth daily. Bones, tongue, throat, teeth, my whole mouth.. all getting worse and no one knows how bad , cuz no one listens to me and or cares any more.. so I just bare the pain and bullshit,.. so I just keep on.. keeping on. I still wake up every morning.. and the shit still is shit.. one day at a time.

The red bumps ( rash) still come and go.. or some stay.. looks like sepsis .. but what do I know after all right.. who the fuck knows any more. Dont eat much.. only reason I stay from 162-175 lbs.. is because I eat shit junk food and sweets.. but that is making my mouth and teeth horrible.. so I swap one evil for another one really. It just is !

I still am fighting off infections in the masses.  I get sick- when anyone looks at me pretty much.. the usual. Insomnia is killing me.. I live on sleeping pills just to get 2 hours of sleep everyday. It sux ass.. My back is bad again.. my muscles and bones get worse everyday... eyes, bad.. ears bad.. i have infections and etc with right ear,, and I am pretty sure I have the end of a q-tip stuck down in my ear canal.. I am so lost and so just done. Tremors are bad.. internal and external.. what's new ?  and i am pretty sure I had another TIA... yesterday.  My stress level and things are horrible. The anxiety is literally killing me..

I have fallen numerous times in the last 2 months. I have lost eye sight in right eye.. hearing.. and still my balance is so off.. I run into everything 50 times .. everyday.. I cant seem to get that squared away and in check, I am just lost most days.. So  much more.. but my eyes and thoughts, are now foggy and head hurts so I am getting off for now. ALL IS JUST GGGRRRRRR.. I will check back in later with more info..

hhmmmmmmmm

Sometimes.. all you need is this and love.. so it goes... but in the real world.. what a damn joke .. right? 

coffee only allows us to experience the bullshit.. fully caffeinated,, is all ~

 

15day......an a wish

 

Love and prayers from one survivor to all others out there.. Awareness is the key ! Check ur girls often.. 

All Month long... and everyday .. :)

 Make sure you check them taa-taas Y'all...  

💗💟💖💘💓

StIll feEls like a mOnDay...

 The last few days I attempted to do other Social Media, but I am just not feeling it.. between all that is happening and me and etc.. Phil. Jade. Pooter. Me... shit is still just nuts and I don't see my self around much longer hopefully...

I think my mind is kindah stuck in this fog ~

O, well... Another day .. more bs.. the usual.. teeheeeeee.. gonna be doing a health update on next entry hopefully.. lots been happening with me.. Tootles for now.. mwah👻💗

WhY I loVe Fall

 

Cute shit... round out .. the top of my reasons .. why I love Fall. It is the only thing I have.. DON'T judge me... 🍁🍂☕🌻💗

C vs. IP ( 2020)

 

Let the Protests begin.. well damn.. I was last on that one. The protesting has already began.. even though years ago,, on  this day.. Columbus Day had already been changed.  But with this being 2020.. everything is protested and ruined by idiots.. shit is so far outta control.. I will not even attempt here to start in on that.

Whatever you are celebrating today.. do something positive with it..  People have day off, some haven't even started working again due to covid- 19 .. and some are just whatever.. just a day to start and continue on with more bullshit.. GGGRRRRRRR 

First things first...

 Owwww.. weeee... man that was kindah scary , but I did not pop my nail off while baking.. ahhahah.

After October is over,    I have a feeling I will be finding pink nails everywhere.. couple have popped off due to shit nail glue.. out front, all over house.. lol.. first though.. lol... still funny..

Whaattttt?

 Funniest shit ever ! Well I did something today I have never done ever as long as I have been baking and cooking !!!

Will be checking the banana nut breads thoroughly before anyone eats them and debating whether I should say anything to Phil about it.. LMAO. He keeps shit from me .. ALL THE TIME ! Might ad  well... lol 

So.. ya wanna know what I did.. While mixing the ingredients.. I am pretty sure I popped one of my false nails off .. in the mix.. so somewhere in one of my breads is a pink nail .. supporting Breast Cancer awareness,, OH MY GOD,,.

SSHHHH.. don't tell ... This is gonna be interesting to say the least..  I am killing it today.. 0 for 100.. I am sure of that.. Damn.. am I sure its not a Monday?? hahahha😄

Day 6 ...

 

Pink it Forward Y'all....

Guessing I am lost !!!

 So, what the fuck... is it called.. when you have a great day and all is good... in your favor, and the then the next day.. just sucks ass.. everything goes wrong. ppl are shitty to u, you feel bad.. shit is just way off.... and I mean all the shit .. is way off. You woke up full of hope .. just to find out within 20 minutes that shit is just that.. shit !! even the dog stays in bed.. underneath all the covers.. cuz he senses and knows.. shit is not kosher in Denmark... or anywhere else for that matter. The furbaby didn't get up and uncover til 1100.. wow.. my dog is smart.

IDM... [ It DOESN'T Matter]

I do not understand for the life of me.. why people don't get me and don't understand. I  am not some complicated riddle. I tell people straight out. I ask right out. I state things repeatedly.. but still I am ignored, not listened to, or shrugged off.. and a lot of the time.. i am answered back... with what.. they think i like..

I will post repeatedly. I bring it up 50 times.. still doesn't matter.

I was told I'd go on post. Go to beach. Go to racetrack. Go to Savannah,.. go to Walking dead place... u name it.. 2 yrs now and nothing. 

I asked to go to waterfalls.. no dice. I asked to go to Auburn so many times.. tour , go see campus.. places to eat and window shop.. fuckin nothing.

I asked to go to racetrack like 5 times.. got completely ignored.

I came up with date night.. so we could see friends & go out.. did that once.. covid and shit hit.. but still with things being back open now etc.. i got shrugged off ! 

The guys have been gone for work and fishing.. but at beginning of Sept.. i said we should have a party when they got back.. WHY .. ? WHY? WHY? 

Nope ! I asked to go on the evening boat cruise on 18th.. it went on deaf ears. I said we needed to go to farm.. the pumpkin patch place. ..that too got ignored..  Halloween is coming soon and I have been shot down about everything. 

WTF... I HAVE NOTHING LEFT !!!