Little Big Town - Sugar Coat

It is always something else.. isn't it?

Hiya Humpday

Where is Friday already ?

Me.. the other day..

And something cute to look at !! Christmas time is coming.. Yuck.. But shit is cute though ❤

raNDomS 4.. yes, another one

My daily reminder.. LMAO

Yep.. Daily reminder...  Thinking about being old school for some reason right now.. ya know.. like raking instead of using leaf blower. Picking up trash and cig butts instead of just throwing them down for someone else to pick up. Actually reading a book instead of listening to one. Saying Merry Christmas instead of stoooopid shit. Actually doing the work in the kitchen with food and cooking in oven.. not having machines do all for me.. I actually use like knives to peel and cut.. lol
Writing a letter or calling instead of texting and or emails.. who the fuck checks ( or uses) emails these days .. they are even obsolete mostly too!! ha
ANother huge random.. I like baths but my body doesn't. I like drinking alcohol and doing certain drugs..cooking,cleaning, dancing, singing, playing sports, house work, yard work, taking showers.. and so on.. BUT MY BODY DOESNT ! Fuck I am so screwed. My body and my brain & heart are constanty at war.. TRY THAT ON FOR SIZE Y'ALL..  No takers? hhumm. ok
House to myself today.. Kid gone for days.. unsure when she's coming back.. no worries.. Less for me to deal with. If I can handle my jackass husband that is. Sometimes he isn't bad.. sometimes he is great.. other times he is just lost and still clueless.. AGAIn I SAY.. $130.00 on a fucking un-needed Santa.. lol yeah.. I am not letting this one go yet.
Health you ask..? well good news the white stuff stopped..holding weight at about 174lbs.. still 2 heavy.. hate that. Mouth .. head issues.. that shits nuts.. every kind of infection you can possible think of.... I am trying to ward off. Talking, walking, thinking, and functions.. go up and down.. currently ok I guess.. I know what I am saying kind of.. however I will forget in 2 minutes I am sure. YES, SERIOUSLY ! No biggy though. That's old news really.. hhmm. think that's the update as of right now.. I am still alive.. YUCK.. hahhaah

More rANdoms (3)

Never NUFF... yep, I said it. OMG my dogs have serious nasty asses.. Their gas is so yuck it is literally making me sick, WOW~

70's music and getting by this a.m. Been up since 0500.. my sleeping habits are all but null right now. Horrible nights, little sleep early a.m... craziness and insanity. I finally said screw it at about 0600 and made coffee and just got started with this day. I listen to what the voices and my body tells me .. u see.. and this a.m. it said.. get up and do some shit, take notes, and we will guide you along the way... and they have indeed. People seem to think my life is glam and I live the great life and set around.. well guess what? UUUGGGHHHH !! wrong answer. Miserably sick and in so much pain.. i get up.. struggle to make coffee and get going. I do loads of laundry, dishes, refill shit all around house, sweep house, ( lots of wood floors)..mop floors, take care of dogs, .. that are killing me by the way.. they are 3 and 11.. pit and lab so their needs and wants are very different and its hard most days.. and other days extremely hard. Back to my morning.... um.. scrubbed sink, cleaned shower, huge tub.. ( i don't know how I just did that)..mopped bathrooms, laundry room, scrubbed and cleaned glass doors from shower, mirrors all over house.. etc. 

Outback.. cleaned, swept 7 million leaves, cleaned furniture, moved it around.. emptied trash.. and stopped til later til it warms up to go out and pick up dog mess etc.. toooo damn cold out there it was.. I still need to go finish.. checked stuff out front, did stuff had to do... and wait til later to clean out there and go get mail etc.. OH MY GOD.. tired just thinking about all I STILL MUST DO TODAY.. and this is most days people. THIS WAS MY POINT. I am by no means lazy unless I just cant .. but I still feed and take care dogs, play with them.. do the must do.. the dusting bedroom cleaning etc.. cooking, dishes,, and many more things until I am just ready to die many times over.. but I still try to smile.. laugh.. be funny on fb etc.. because that keeps me going and of course no one really cares anyway.. SO !! there most of it is. Wanting to get stuff done so I can rest later in bed and maybe watch a cute and or funny XMAS movie or something.. I have waited to do that.. I cant do it til after Thanksgiving.. IT IS JUST NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME ! ahaha

I do all these things for just a few reasons.. 1. If I don't .. no one will. 2. I do it for me .. so stuff stays clean etc or half ass done anyway. And I do it for my family and animals that depend on me to do it because even if they can do that shit... THEY DONT ~

rAndoMs 2..

Lol.. uum..whatever I suppose. I can be bad and still be good at the same time Y'all.

Perfect wish bone in the trash.. hahahha. I kept telling them.. either pull it .. or it's outta here. BUH BYE

Inquiring minds wanna know.. just whom would my daughter be screamin and cursing at now over the phone..? HA poor Medical billing people..

Jades cray cray over phone.. !! 

11:11 we all know has a meaning. Ppl say legend is you make a wish.. uumm wrong answer. It means an auspicious sign actually.. it signals a spiritual event or that a there is a spirit presence with you.

I however used to joke about what 12:12 meant .. hehehhe

actually though.. the best time is 12:34

it is a number sequence rare to just glance up at..take notice of.. ad it is the time when you actually

are to make a wish. and if you believe in your wish .. it will come true. HAPPY 12:34 everyone.

Anything and EVERYTHING you've ever wanted to know  about a person.. learned in 2 words guys.. SOCIAL MEDIA. Pay attention dumBASSES. Don't be one that says one day.. I had no idea.

Again.. I say  WTF... 130.00$ on a frikkin Santa !!! WHY ?

Cooking a roast. Doing laundry. Taking care of dogs. Blogging. You name it and I am doing it today.. like right now.... hahhaha 💜💋

2019 is going to be one of those crazy ass years to look back on that no one will ever forget. MARK MY WORDS !!

RanDoms

Since Halloween I have become a drinker again... I have gone through IDK how many bottles of wine and my hubby and I drink Crown Royal Apple every night.. Sometimes I drink it during day.. strong drinks.. and sometimes I drink more than him at night.. helping but not helping... says a recovering alcoholic.. but my hubby seems to be all to glad to be an enabler these days.. I am sure the motive however.. either he wants me happy and content.. or he just want s to forget himself what is really happening here.. I DONT KNOW. I am so unsure which.. which also gets me going a bit.. I cant win.
To get out Christmas decorations today or not to? .. the real question of the day.. hahah
How many cups of coffee can I drink between … uumm 0600 and 10..? lol
People have really pissed me off this a.m., blow it off Rene.. they are just trying to get your goat.. I hear in my head.. hhahahah.. yes, I will let it go.. I am cool like that.. I say what I have to and then it is the past.. done and over it is !
Daughters alarm went off many times.. over hour ago.. she kept turning it off. I finally decided to go ask.. wtf? do you need to get up or not? she lied and I walked away.. the usual.. her circus.. not mine.. I need to let it go,, she is a friggin adult after all.
December 20th right around the corner Ashley Jade... so you deal with it !!
So.. what I am feeling right now.. but still I laugh..

Intermission...

GOOD MORNIN' FOLKS

A cold Decemebr day...

What the hell was I possibly thinking by going outside when it is freezing out there.. to smoke a cig? Habits are hard to break I guess. LOL

Drinking coffee, trying to catch up with shit, watching a trippy new show "Servant" .. it's crazy.. however  must admit watching movies and playing my games these days keeps my mind occupied and going.. IT IS helping me stay afloat. I know it is ! Most the time.. when I haven't been on here .. I have been cheating and using my cell ..MEMO app to write stuff down.. toooooo lazy to pull out laptop  I suppose. and I laugh and keep myself occupied with snap chat also.. see.. example 1: 

 I try to pretend all is ok and that I AM OK ! I have to say though.. snap isn't really working for me these days.. like it was. So I have been dosing with CBD and just staying in my head as much as possible.... which indeed is so  much better than the real deal.. sometimes. Except when I have crazy dreams & visions and stuff gets nutty.. then I start to question my choices a bit.

What to do with me???? hhhmmmm. My Christmas dream and wish this year.. is one that I haven't been able to share with ANYONE.. that the miracle of just finally finding peace comes to me and I finally leave this life and my soul can move on and be happy. Yeah, like I said.. a MIRACLE ~

Until that day comes.. . you are stuck with me I guess..

I heart the Season...

December has begun...

  At the end of each day , this is what the reality boils down to Y'all…Doesn't matter if we are talking about me, you, or Joe Schmo.. It just is.. 

Here it is the third day of December and nothing new here except my hubby spent 130.00 yesterday on a 6ft animated singing ( if you push button ) Santa for the front porch.. WTF? That money could have been used for so many other things we need etc. And he also showed me he ordered 3 deer for the yard too.. WHICH HE SAID HE WOULD NEVER DO.. although they are beautiful lit up and have gorgeous golden /brownish bows on them.. now we need to get new stuff that matches that , however it is the year to buy new stuff anyways. I am soooooooo confused.. IDK!

Yep...

Taken a couple days ago.. No makeup Wednesday .. before Thanskgiving.. hahahah. Everyday here lately is a no makeup jammie day for me.. who am I kiddin. Been 2 sick etc to even care.. with no reason to do anything.. so why would I .. do anything. No-one around me would notice anyway.. They don't even see when I am having issues or am all fucked up.. I could poison myself and do all sorts of things .. they would never know.. they don't care... But anyway .. here I am.. ~ 

December now knocks...

Can't believe  made it through Thanksgiving.... Indeed! Been crazy to say the least. November has been a blur with so many things.. illness, emotions, dog stuff, house stuff, family shit.. It is a real wonder I am still alive.. despite my prayers and wishes to be gone already. GGGRRR. so, I take it.. the ones above are not done making me suffer yet. Moving on..
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving holiday and were with ones that you love that love you back ! That what it is all about after all !!

lol... this would be my luck of course.. but, with the dogs.. hahahah

Jade finally did her room .. it only took a year... Pink Panther movie on the boob tube.. new cup of coffee brewing.. Phil outside doing something on boat .. as usual.. Jade actually was outta here by 0500 this a.m. and is at work.. Proud of her SEC ESPN job at Auburn.. yay.. but she has court soon and still a few drug classes and a bit of community service still. She was at animal shelter,, that was tooo much for her.. then she got asked to work with homeless and Elderly.. and was going to do Thanksgiving there but didn't.. I don't know what her plan is on finishing that time up.. I am sure she will pull something outta her hat at the last hour though.. she always does ! We shall see.. That all still in progress.. but for the most part she is doing better with stuff... IDK.. it just is.. I will not question her or what and how she does her stuff  anymore.. I cant keep up with her.

Luke been going to vet more.. hard this time of year.. because its almost been a year since Bo.. but like is on meds for eye issue. thyroid meds.. he has small thyroid problem.  and they have him of Doggie Ibuprofen for other stuff. He is ok.. He is just ggrrr as usual.  Pooter  and him been keeping me busy. Pooter always a jerk about stuff.. My curse.. to have things simple and easy would be just to perfect in my world.
This was a small catch up I suppose.. Gotta get my coffee and figure out my next move.. TOOTLES

Blue Saturday

My health just gets worse and so does my attitude. I am just so over all of it..

IF ONLY

Day 6 of Thankful November.. lol ok ~

Halloween Party ✓  Halloween ✓✓  and moving right along to another Month of bullshit and mayhem. I am still sick.. Phil is still Phil.. Jade well she's

herself and still rides the border line.
My health sucks.. I am very negative right now.. so much shit and so sick I am just ready to go already. Hate it.. Hate it Hate it !